BUSYYYYY

SO BUSY OK!
1) endless shoots
2) hanging out with old/new friends
3) writing and rewriting my thesis script
4) meeting with teachers
5) keeping fit!!

<------- anyway, this is my first headshot assignment! (my aspiring actress neighbor across the street!)
Waiting for more to come!! :)

Okeh talk more later!
Now I am sick and hungry, but hoping I'll get to have Vietnamese later tonight! (Aishah: hint hint :P)

spring break day#3

Tengah kat ofis ni, menghabiskan logging gazillions of tapes!! AAAGHH!
But truth be told i would rather be here and finishing up my workload and earn some extra cash on the side. I think if I was on at home, I wouldn't be writing or doing work anyway... I would still be in bed, in my PJs, watching silly shows on hulu...

Sunday afternoon I went up a freaking rooftop to shoot the Brooklyn skyline. Seriously, the wind was so strong and someone told me, had I been up on the rooftop on Saturday I could have been toppled off because the winds were the strongest ever then. I remember when I was on that shoot in the Hamptons I almost fell off a balcony from the 3rd floor -- I had to man a light while the crew shot near the swimming pool on the lower level, and I had fallen asleep on an armchair so when they started screaming for me to swivel the light, I woke up, disoriented, ran towards the light and almost fell off before a classmate reached out to grab me. When you think of it, it's really dumb -- the stupid things you do in film school (for the sake of art)

I've been wanting to put up pictures from New Orleans, but haven't had the time to transfer stuff from my camera. Oh well. Soon! By the way I am really liking this tan I have, I hope it won't fade away so soon. Hehe.

There. She said it. Obsession. I've been trying really hard to resist seeing her for weeks now, she comes across as annoying but she can't say anything because that's her job. Besides she reminds of Liz Lee from MTV. So whatever. For now I have to concentrate on:
1) Changing my routine backwards
2) Concentrating on door frames, on storefronts, on people's jackets

And then I would be 50% there, so I should give myself some credit for that.

Anyway, ok! I finally saved barely enough to buy my ticket home, but I did! I guess I could have done without paying an extra hundred bucks and flown on Cathay Pacific but just thinking about how my butt will hurt (sitting 13 hours straight) from NY -->HK and the flight macam naik bus pun ade jugak, and how dirty it gets blearrrrrrghhhh I think I'll make do with Korean Air (even with the 12 hour layover) I might just take a train out to Seoul but mak saya cakap nanti sesat pastu tak ternaik connecting flight to KL. Hahah! But yes, mark your calendars lovers -- mid May I will be back home (for six weeks)

OK back to work!! It's so nice and sunny out I think I might get myself a milkshake!!!

spring, wooohooo!

I came to work in flats today! Amazing, right?!
Got back from New Orleans last Monday, I'm still super exhausted and super tanned from the trip. Will post up pictures and more later...

I LOVE CHARGRILLED OYSTERS!!! Best gile!!
I also love New Orleans!! So purdyyyy... although really sad/depressing at the same time.

OK LATERRR LOVESSS

update! PS:/I LOVE H&M FOREVER

Can't write long because mak saya dah marah-marah saya tulis blog panjang berjela tapi tak buat apa yang dia suruh saya buat.

BWEK.
I've been so tired of endless weekends of partying (because it's my last semester) and realize that my body can no longer take staying up until 4am, boo hoo :(

AND
Last Wednesday I gave admissions tours to prospective students and talked to (insert suave, macho voice) Mr Hollywood Man, "James." -- proceed with a firm, clammy, cold handshake. But I'm kind of disappointed that he's not as goofy or as aloof as he portrays himself to be (when he's playing himself on SNL or 30 Rock, did you guys watch those?? Funny kan!?) He's almost too cool for school. Whatevs!!

I'm flying OUT of New York tomorrow!! To New Orleans!! With five other people from my class whom I really, really like and get along very well with. Can't wait!!! I'm almost all packed up and ready. My flight out is 7AM, so gotta get up super early!!!

I'm getting ahead of myself now, but here's an idea --- if I have a fundraising party back home in KL, would you guys pay like, RM35 (USD10) to come?

BTW have been having really bad dreams lately. You know, you'd think that hurting in real life is bad enough as it is, but to feel the pain in your dreams -- tenfold the misery :(

Gotta run to work now, talk soon loves.
OH. I AM SO MAD I WILL BE MISSING Wani's baby shower. Benci korang!! HWAAAAAAA!!! Sedih ni :(

A couple of things..

Third week into February, time is flying fast.

A couple of things.
1. For the past two weeks, I've watched: Julie & Julia, The Hurt Locker, Up in the Air, Post Grad, The Burning Plain. Pick of the month: Up in the Air (written/directed by Jason Reitman) It's so amazingly written, and while the chances of it winning Best Picture are slim - it's so good, that I wish I could write something like that. Even the screenplay is engaging.

It's the most sad and depressing movie I've seen so far -- but I absolutely LOVED it.
The perfect film to show a man who can't COMMIT.

And while I absolutely loved 21 Grams, Amorres Peros and Babel - The Burning Plain was a great big disappointment!! To think that all four films were written by the same person. HOWEVER -- this just goes to show: a good script can falter in the hands of an inexperienced director.

2. Congratulations Kat!! I'm so, so happy for you :) Seven years is worth the wait, kan? Hopefully I boleh dtg your wedding nanti, insyaAllah :) and I know you're going to be the gorgeous, blushing bride! I miss you here jugak!!! :(

3. So after someone says I'm 'complacent' yesterday a really good friend tells me, 'you've become so jaded!' Say whaaaa---at? Great, I came to New York to not become just that - jaded, but here I am. Jaded again. Guess it's high time for me to move on to bigger, better things...

4. OK. What's the deal here? Who has been distributing my silly film around? Dah lah tak siap lagi, I still need to put in score, and have the sound reworked on... but now it's been shown around :( That's not cool... and while I am very flattered to be screened with more established directors, I'm still bummed because it's not my best work. I can't even watch it ever again, without wanting to pull my hair out... ok, let's be positive here. Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe people will stop and pay attention and I will attract investors to fund my future projects... kan? Kan? Kan?


5. Yesterday in cinematography class we had a demonstration on shooting 3D. At first I wasn't really bothered because I couldn't wrap my head around the concept, but now, after understanding how it works I think it's really, really cool. Well, I mean, it's not like I'm aspiring to shoot an entire narrative feature length film in 3D, but maybe work on a cool installation video with 3D. It'll be so cool!!! Last night I also contemplated on not going to a classmate's birthday celebration. But she came to my party and I felt indebted! So I did. It was at this really cool speakeasy bar in LES - think red velvet walls, a fireplace (!!) and an uber cool back alley entrance.. well not to ramble, I'm glad I went because it was fun hanging out with friends from school :)

6. I hate feeling this way. Waking up every morning thinking that he's bored of me, and have second thoughts about what he's promised me. I'm really trying my best to hold back and give him space but it's so hard because when he's nice I become attached and I miss him even more so, and I want to call and text and make sure he's doing okay. Is it so wrong to care about someone so much? Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I think... I think it's really time for NC (which means... well, google 'break up NC'...)

7. Biggest motivation of running: THUNDER thighs. I mean, you gotta need something that inspires you to suffer through 30 minutes of bursting your lungs/torturing yourself with stitches/wanting to just curl up and scream "WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS?!?!" And fact: I run best with Britney Spears blasting out loud.

OK, I'm really just bored at work, seems like I hardly have anything to do over here when I come in during office hours. BUT! I'm super excited for this weekend!! Shutter Island/a classmate's Glitter Party!! Happiness!! So yes, there is NO REASON TO FEEL BAD. THE VOICE OF SELF-LOATHING - SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!

happy party :)

My roommate Amy and I sit on the couch, staring at all the food around us.
It's 8.05pm.

"What are we going to do with all the foooooooood?" we both whine.


Then people came streaming in and didn't stop coming until 4.30am.
Party= success!

Happy! :)

Because I should've been in Webster Hall tonight, watching Kings of Convenience live, but of course one of them had to get sick and cancel the New York shows - so out of spite I'm going to let you guys listen to one of my favourite songs of all time --- but not by KOC!! Hahaha!

I AM NOT

COMPLACENT!!

AAAAAAAAAAGH :(
So maybe this isn't the FIRST time somebody's said that to me, but I REALLY need to start working twice as hard from now on :(

Anyway, party tomorrow!! I wonder who will turn up...
Then, Kings of Convenience on Saturday night (by myself.. sobs)

Yay!!!

EXCITEDDDD

I'm going to New Orleans for a week in March!! All expenses paid..... YAYYYYYYYYYY HAPPINESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

It is for this :)

pet peeve#1

I absolutely loathe the term 'tudung girl'
Sorry, but I don't see you calling a girl who doesn't cover her hair 'free hair girl' -- she's just a 'girl'.

"I saw that tudung girl so I had to hide my beer"

"I got hassled by tudung girls today"

WTF.

It's completely derogatory, if I do say so myself.

PS/Now I know that fresh blueberries taste so much better with pancakes than blueberry pie filling from a can. Bliss on a Sunday morning!

spring part deux.. WAIT A SECOND. IT'S NOT SPRING YET.. AAAAAA

1. Benci lah. I really thought the weather was going to get lovelier... I've really been looking forward to walking out in flats and flip flops. And not having to bundle myself in an ugly bubble jacket with its popping buttons. I woke up this morning to... snow falling. Pretty, but annoying.

2. Work. I could be a lot more productive, but I find myself spending more and more time trying to organize my life than getting things done... le sigh..

3. Future plans. It's almost February, now the thought of wanting to shoot my thesis film in September scares me. Not to mention that right now it seems that all of February and March will be busy months playing cinematographer... and whatever happened to wanting to start on that feature script?! I wish I wasn't such a lousy/lazy writer.

4. I think hipsters are nice people, but I don't think I can stand being holed up with them in a bar for long periods of time :(

5. Sourgrapes moment: Sundance looks like so much fun :( I WISH I WAS IN PARK CITY!!! :(

6. Turning 26. I made a toast over a small dinner party hosted by a good friend from school - to be happier! :) It's been a week and I have been content.. and diamonds are truly a girl's best friend :) I boxed up my first and kept it cleverly hidden, because remembering hurts :( But then came along this new one on the eve of my birthday - engraved with 375 so I know it's the real deal. Happiness indeed.

7. More and more people are dying young... and of cancer :( One of my new year's resolutions: to be grateful to God that I get to wake up everyday... healthy and alive. And to remember Him every night that he's let me live yet another day.

8. I think I can stop seeing Brooke now because I'm done with the crazies.

9. I think I might want to shoot another documentary. I've always said that I don't enjoy it, but then it's the closest you get to experiencing real people and real life situations. One weekend I went to a funeral in Jersey, the next day I was in a beautiful church taping a sermon in Spanish. Then I'm somewhere in Queens following a Colombian woman dropping off her children to their physically/emotionally abusive father at an undisclosed location...

Maybe on whaling?

10. First arson attacks. Then wild boar heads. I don't get it!!!

11. Stop Apple hating please. Just because the whole world is making fun of Steve Jobs picking such a shiteous name for such a cool gadget, doesn't mean you have to get into it too... it's really lame, especially when most of them haters are probably PC users... so scmi-Pad, iPad, whatever. The name doesn't undermine the coolness of it even one bit. Sure it's got its flaws, but you have to admit it is a pretty nifty gadget to have.

12. Starting to develop this weird sleeping pattern of late. I don't know why.

13. I said I was sorry, and I'm sorry :(

14. With another 3 months of school... I'm really over it. Almost over it. Beginning to feel that I am done with this city, at least for now.

15. Teringin nak makan ketam lagi!!!

What a random post. Later lovelies. And thanks so much for the birthday wishes, I couldn't possibly reply to all but I will in time... thank you!!! xoxo

spring part un

2010! Houston! Birthday!
My heart shaped diamond pendant :)
Soon.

But first, two pictures.
23/1/2010:

i. Prospect Park, thrifting, skating, Wendy's, downtown Brooklyn

ii. my first sewing project: a boatneck tunic dress made with silk chiffon fabric bought at the Fashion District.. using the jankiest sewing machine from Urban Outfitters my sister got me for my birthday!

OK later loves, gotta leave for a film shoot in Jersey!
xo

winter blues #8

No, do not feel bad because you said NO twice today!!!
No. I will NOT feel bad.


ARGHHHH!!

winter blues #7

* une
So, what's the deal with burning churches, people?
Some will say it's political.
I will say it's the lack of proper education and the misguided conception of ketuanan Melayu...

:(
For a split second, it got me really scared. First, the whole dead cow head protest. Tak malu gile ke jadi orang Melayu sekarang? Macam orang purba... nak protest tapi guna cara budak sekolah.

Matlamat tak menghalalkan cara.
EEEEEE.

* deux
OK. Enough.
I'm DP-ing a super hipster horror short in the next two weeks. It's totally non-school related and pro-bono (why did I say yes again? Shot myself in the foot, too soon there... ok the only reason is so that I can add things to my DP reel... seems that most of the money I make these days are from shooting... not writing, directing, or... erm, cable-wrangling)

I'm going back to work next week too. WTF... whatever happened to my plans of not doing anything and laying in bed all day? :( I think I've only had maybe a good five days of that.

I am really annoyed with the way they're directing/editing BB... :( It's not like I'm anal whatever but then it's just sloppy that it gets me annoyed... I'm not enjoying this whole writing business and then having someone else direct/edit my work. Not cool.


* trois
An old friend said this to me yesterday, "so enjoy to the fullest what you have already with you right now, because it wont last....and love will find its way, it always does.." Of course, it was more long winded that that but it made me almost cry, reading what he wrote... back then, this friend would come pick me up from my hostel in Cyberjaya and we would drown ourselves in teh-ais while he lamented on his unfortunate love life.. how times have passed!

Yet we find ourselves at this point again - broken so badly by the people we love the most, and hoping that in time we will become stronger and more resilient... and believe that things get worse only so they can get better..

My heart feels a lot lighter... someone said, in time, it gets quieter. It really does.
But why is it that every single night I pray that he goes far away, and stop permeating my thoughts... he comes back, when I least expect it :(


Be good, lovers.

winter blues #6

Hari ni malas nak gi gym. Besides, later tuan si Baby will be taking her home. I'm so sad!! There will be no more white furball to annoy/play/manja-manja with for the rest of my break :( This morning she crept into the nook of my arm while I was sleeping... after that she went berserk and I had to give her catweed so she'd chill a bit. Good thing is she's been making amends with Monk, the resident cat here... but too bad she's leaving already... :(

CAT LADY SPEAK OH THE HORRORS

Btw I just bought myself tickets to warmer weather the weekend before school starts... my mission is to hunt down Rodarte for Target's mustard yellow dress in MY size... but now, now I just I wish I could get my paychecks sooner... so I can buy more things that will make me HAPPY!!!

Oh! Last week I went to the Fashion District to buy some cheap fabric to make dresses with my mini sewing machine :) Tapi I forgot that I need extra sharp shears to cut cloth... and today since I'm melepeting kat rumah I just have to wait until tomorrow to get them... le sigh.

Happy besday Minah! You are old. But people will always think you are the older sister. Hahahaahhaha!!!

OK off to clean some cat poopie.

winter blues #5

God, I'm still wide awake at 3am! :(

For the past four days I've been busy bee-ing a tourist guide to my brother and my sister in law... ok la jugak diorang ni datang NY -- takde lah bosan masa New Year's eve (party hopping plans terus tak jadi) and we walked 20 blocks trying to get into the barricades of Times Square, only to hop on the 6 train to Union Square and ushered 2010 watching Sherlock Holmes...

I think I managed to cover most touristy/non-touristy parts of the city, except for maybe laying on the grass near Dumbo in downtown Brooklyn, brunching in Williamsburg... oh and the amazing gelato at Chelsea Market because it was closed (which I don't think they minded missing anyways) We planned on renting a car for a road trip to DC/Boston/Philly tapi in the end tak jadi because we woke up super late every morning...

Here's a picture of my highlight of family bonding time over four days:
(Takmo letak gambar diorang, nanti my brother perasan glamour... haha)

Lobsters! And crabs! And I found the BEST MALAYSIAN restaurant in New York ever!!! (in the tragically hip West Village.. how ironic!)
I also got to go ice-skating at Bryant Park... which was super fun, because it wasn't too cold and it was snowing flurries.. :) I'll also be going ice-skating again with my friend/colleague Peggy later this week... yeah gotta find a bigger rink...

Two more weeks of winter break. I wonder what happened to my plans of finishing a first draft of my feature... hahaahaha. Well, we'll see..
I'm listening to a lot of this and somehow it's making me miss late nights cruising the streets in KL... or lepak kat mamak after a gig at Bangsar... or whatever lah, it's making me miss KL like crazy... :( --- although I did grow up in Penang!!! (it's an entirely different feeling... really)

Sedihlah :(

I'm on week 5 of C25K now... can't even start to think running 8 minutes straight. Mesti semua orang pelik, why am I suddenly into running/sports.. ? Well I will be turning 26 in less than 17 days, I'm just trying to keep fit... and besides, when I started I was just really angry, and it's good to have a routine when you feel like your life is spiralling downwards (in my case, trying to get over my 2 1/2 year relationship which went kaput) But anyways. 2010. Yes, I believe you will do me good, if I do say so myself :)

Congratulations to those who have tied the knot! And gotten engaged!! And have storks delivering babies on the way!
May you be blessed with long-live joy, happiness and prosperity.. (cis, cam raye cine lak)

OK the bed beckons... it's only 3 more hours before the kids wake me up for food.. :( It's hard being a cat lady ok!!!
:P

peace out y'all.

winter blues #4

2010 is already looking up :)

winterim reading #un

http://voize.my/events/arts-culture/yasmin%E2%80%99s-reluctant-critic-%E2%80%93-a-tribute-by-mansor

Now this, this is a joke of a person.
I aspire never to become him.

winter blues #3

It's funny how the universe works.
It's bizarre how opportunity presents itself when you're hitting rock bottom.

I could be broke. I could be a complete failure at school. I could be terminally ill, or bed-ridden. There could be so many other things that I could be... but because I get to wake up every morning and feel fine, and am able to walk and run and live my life the way I want to, I could potentially... be happy. In so many other ways than not.

And for that, carpe diem, I say.

winter blues #2

Gosh, I need to fucking CHILL already.

winter blues #1

7AM/Sunday on the way to shoot a Sunday mass for this documentary I'm working on. After all the jebus overload I fell asleep during the sermon... what kind of doc shooter sleeps on the job?! The pastor wasn't pissed... he just said, "Bless you documentary people! May God Bless you!"

Amidst working 5 days last week, I managed to catch Avatar 3D and The Lovely Bones... can't say which one I liked better though. But I've been watching a lot of BTS: Avatar on youtube and I'm really liking this performance capture technology thing I'm seeing. It's uber cool. Even all the live action stuff was in 3D.. it was cool.

I've gotten so bloody boring, I know.
Can't wait for the year to be over though... I'm ready for a blank slate.




To you.

First, I'm sorry. I have been an ignorant, selfish person.
I just thought that maybe, your life would be easier, and you would be much happier if I slipped away..

I guess I was wrong.
Can we be friends again?

winter B/R/E/A/K

made a week and a half after my heart got broken. to bits and pieces. having a thing with film roll outs.

..

where is Brooke when I need her?
place a marble in one hand..


:(

lesson: numero uno

an avalanche of swirling thoughts.

place a marble in one hand, close your eyes and both your hands.
hold them tight, and concentrate on both at once - the one hand with, and the other without.

break the avalanche of swirling thoughts.
now, breathe.

and move on.

Woke up this morning feeling absolutely-

SHITTY.

And now I'm at work, shaking my leg while waiting digitizing sctuff AND watching one video after the next...





I mean, come on, how can you not absolutely love them?


It really, really, really sucks when you find good music and don't have anyone to share it with anymore.

:(

My current love.

THE XX.

Back from the dead.

Day 3 of No More Tears.
I had a wonderful weekend - Friday with friends, frozen yogurt by the ounce at St. Mark's, a trip to the village psychic (I'll save the story for another day..) Lazy Saturday and Sunday of nothingness... plus a weird phone call which has left the door open. Again.

But I'm not going to sit and wait.
I'm not.

On another note, to those of you in Malaysia, watch the new season of Blogger Boy on 8tv every Thursday at 9.30pm!!! I'm so excited... even if I do have this last script pending completion, and can't watch it from here... so you guys should watch it and tell me if I can write comedies for shits.. hohoho.

OVER and OUT.

It's the End.

It's done.

Thirty one months.
I've done everything within my capacity to love you.
But perhaps this was never meant to be.



I wish you well.

While I collect my thoughts and pick up pieces of myself, I shall be away.

Be good, lovers.

I wish..

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to be in a sea of 42 000 runners.
How another way you could join the marathon would be by running for charity... which is what a lot of people tend to do.
How cold it was this morning, but how happy people were that it was that cold because it was ideal weather.
How amazing the view is when you start off from Fort Wadsworth..
How this could... someday, be possible for you too.













I miss you so much :(

YOYO

A yo-yo of emotions, yes.
I don't know if I'm OK.
It's been 4 days and I've been shut off completely.

Really, do I really not mean anything more to you?

:(

I'm hoping my first paid videographer gig ($350 for a 7 hour job) at the ING NYC marathon will at least give me some distraction, or self fulfillment. Then I am going to buy that Marc for Marc Jacobs bag, and feel SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF, BECAUSE I DESERVE THIS.

:)

Yes, I do believe in seeking strength from the Almighty.

When everything else seems to have fallen apart, new things in good forms appear..
Never underestimate the power of prayers, or doa...

I am a happy bunny today!!!
HAPPY.

This storm shall pass, I know it will. Slowly, but surely.

Thank you.

You've really, really hurt me.

Tears.

I really want to cry... and feel something.

But I can't seem to emote..

:(

Did you know that when you lay your head sideways in a bathtub, you hear rushing water against your ear. You can almost pretend that you have your eyes closed while the plane is preparing for take off.

And then you're back home, and everything's fine, just stick those band-aids on the broken bits and everything's back to normal and everything is fine again.

Then when the water suddenly starts rushing up and you realize your face is halfway submerged in water and if you don't wake up, don't get up, although you want to lie down in the bathtub and pretend that you're not here, halfway across the world but you're back home and you're near the one you really love and everything is okay you have to bring yourself up before water starts filling through your ears and sting your eyes and clog your nose and you can't breathe and then you rise you choke and then the truth of the reality hits you like a sharp plasma beam -

That this hurts so, so much.
And you can't do anything about it.

:(

I've had a really bad morning, a really bad week, a really bad MONTH.
I am so overwhelmed with work.

But here I am digging my own grave... I don't know why I keep on doing this. I don't know why I like to put the one thing that's going good for me in complete jeopardy. Sometimes I wonder why I even do the things I do... and say the things I say... I can be so, so thoughtless sometimes.

I HATE IT!
:(

What the fuck am I doing? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEE?? Gosh I've been depressed before but it's going from bad to worse. From unloading my problems to my boss, my teacher, anyone... then I tell myself, well, I'll give myself time to unwind, I'll try to breathe, watch some mindless tv, sleep a lot.. and then still feel horrible after all that, that it makes me really, really angry. Then when I'm feeling down in the dumps I drag him along with me... bringing up things that don't make any sense, demanding that he be extra attentive and sensitive to my needs, and now when he's had enough and tells me he can't take it anymore, I'm the one on the losing end. Life is so unfair... why must it be so good at one point and be so horrible at another??? :(

I just want to cry and sleep and forget about everything.. and then there's all this other shit to do.. like, school and work and my body feeling like crap because I haven't exactly taken the time to take care of myself... It's like I already have all this shit to think about, and now it's eating up into my relationship, and it's so ridicuuloooouuuuuuuuuuuuuussss that he would think of something so harsh like breaking up.. I mean like... just two days ago we were perfectly happy and he says he loves me and can't wait for me to come back for good and sends me pictures of our cat and says things like he wishes I was home and now it's like, well, "I don't really love you so much right now because you're being ridiculous and don't make any sense.." WELL MAYBE I AM BUT AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH... ? Through the good and bad times???

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSS
This fucking sucks. Tell me that a chemical imbalance in your body makes you say things like, "I hate you" or "I'm going to throw myself in front of a car and then I'll be dead and then you'll be happy"

:(

my weekend in a nutshell.

Hari Sabtu: main-main camera kat sekolah.
Malam Sabtu: first pegi tengok WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (where my Jap-Polish classmate, after walking around like proclaiming, "I'm an Asian THUG!" around Times Square got teary eyed... "I got daddy issues, ok!?" ) lepas tu main-main tangkap gambar dengan kawan-kawan kat party (my favorite Norwegian couple)
Hari Ahad: termenung depan komputer pasal takde idea lepas tu amek video kucing rumet



OMG why am I running out of ideas when I need them the most?!?
I've been so uninspired of late...

:(

BOOOO!!!!
OK while I'm on the subject.
I understand all the hype that's surrounding WTWTA - unfortunately I found myself being in and out of it at times. There's no narrative structure, but a lot of unknowingly real, touching emotional beats. Maybe if I had grown up reading the book the movie would have had a bigger impact on me. After all, it's an adult's children movie. HOWEVER, Max Record is an amazing kid actor! You know when you're a kid, and sometimes your older brother or sister or mom or dad kid around with you, and you're laughing until it gets too far then you realize you're crying because they've stepped over the line and you get really, really upset... or the times that you get really, really angry because of something (well I got angry once when I was younger for missing my favourite Jap tv show Mario Attack.. ) and you're not in a position of power where you can slap/hit/bite that person you're angry at, and you roar and rant and trash something (in my case a flower vase?) Well yeah. This movie will remind you just of those moments... but of course, the Wild Things were adorable and scary at the same time, and the ending quite a tearjerker... I must say...

Antichrist this Friday next!!!

I WISHHHHH..

DAMNIT!! I WISH I COULD WRITE LIKE THOSE WRITERS ON GREY'S... NOT JUST ON AUTO-PILOT OR FOR THE SAKE OF FRICKIN FINISHING SOMETHINGGGGGGGGGG

I JUST EMAILED EPISODE 24 AND GOOD LORD IT WAS AWFULLLLLLL WORST THAN THE LAST. I THINK I'LL GET FIRED SOON FOR A) BEING SO FRICKIN TARDY AND B) BEING SOOO FRICKIN UNTALENTED!!!!!

Ra-ra-ra-rantings!

Ergh, it's Friday. Already? WTF?
I should be excited. I told myself I'd go watch Where the Wild Things Are and New York, I Love You if things went well. Well, of course things never go as you plan!! Major accomplishment = finished the first draft of my thesis script, which my class hated!!! Now I have to go through a major rewrite by MONDAY... and find actors who'd be willing to be cast for my table reading. It really kind of sucks for the actors because it's not a real audition, it's just a freakin table reading where you sit and read lines from the script. Aaaaaaaargh. I don't know. And then I have that 30 sec commercial spot I've yet to finalize... all in all this really sucks. Some people in my class were also trying to refine their feature film script drafts to submit for the Sundance Lab, but I can't... I can't take that on, not right now :(

AAAAAAAARHHHH THIS IS ALL SO OVERWHELMINGGGGGG

What is up with the weather? Everytime the temperature drops I feel like I'm getting a fever... last week it was fine, it was gradually dropping but today it's like 7 celcius... I desperately need an in-between jacket because now I'm just layering my ratty 2 year old sweater with different thin blazers which really don't help with the chills. I can't use my winter jacket just yet because I'll look like a ridiculous eskimo in Fall... FML. But today's paycheck day ---- surprisingly more than I thought I would get, but that's going into my commercial shoot funds... :( can life get any more complicated than this??

and I'm struggling to finish this BB script... I'm not as inspired to write for it anymore, especially when I have other legit things to do, and especially when it feels like I'm back in advertising all over again... minus the fun parts when I'd come in to work in the morning, only to be greeted with chocolates, pastries, cookies and random whatnots on my desk as bribery to get my work done in time for deadlines (by the suits... sometimes they'd bribe me with free indoor parking for a week... which was sweet, considering it was RM5 to park on that plot of land on Jalan P. Ramlee..) BUT NOW IT'S LIKE HEY! I HAVEN'T BEEN PAID FOR THE PAST 80 PAGES I've written, and you're breathing down my neck for the next 20? :( Sobs OK I'm complaining :( I know I shouldn't be, I mean it is a great opportunity of getting one foot in the door... right? Right? Right.......??????

OMG I AM RANTING SO MUCH.
I figure that I have to rant as much as possible before the next time I talk to my boyfriend, so he'll be spared of my incessant whinings, boo (I mean like, what are boyfriends for, right?) But hey yeah, I should learn how to be more optimistic about things even if I feel that my back is about to break and that my arms are falling off, or how I don't ever get enough sleep... and the list goes on.

OVER AND OUT Y'ALL.

Procrastinating..

Ah, the cutest actors are always the worst!

Fact #1

I REALLY LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY.
I don't care what you think, the writing is so good.

Pandora is Love

Last Friday was perfect, Pandora, rainy morning, nothing to do at work, Indian lunch with a new friend/colleague. Then the weekend came; laundry + grocery + afternoon nap + night in + long silly conversation with the boyfriend over skype = my ideal Saturday! Sunday was spent in the sound stage at school for a master class session with DP Fred Elmes , tea of bubur pulut hitam (my current obsession!) with Nadi & friend before rushing off to Chloe's for oxtail stew and corn bread over Family Guy...

It was a good weekend, absolutely.
Did I get any work done?
HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA@#("@!($)$@)$!)!)!)!!)!)!#(!_#_!#)_#)

I find myself skipping my Monday afternoon class and evening work shift at the library on the pretext of -
A) feeling unwell (like Monday last week, and the week before, and the week before the week before)
B) needing to go home and finish writing this freaking thesis script..

But fell asleep instead!

EPIC FAIL.
Maybe all I need is motivation. OK, if this week goes smoothly I am rewarding myself with -
A) Where The Wild Things Are
B) New York, I Love You

Now off to write..

So tired.

Only one month into school and I'm so, so so tired.
Who knew having three jobs (tech-assisting, videographer-ing, and freelance screenwriting) could suck so much? Especially when my meager pay can't pay for a decent pair of boots.

:(

Cinemanila 2009- DECLINED

5 rejections in a row..

:(

HAPPY HAPPY!!

OK OK just wanted to write this down before I lose my enthusiasm..
After having not much sleep, sprinting like an idiot to Spike's class today, losing breath, thinking that his class wasn't AS super amazing as I thought it would be - of course it just became THE MOST CRAZY AMAZING CLASS EVER after CLIVE OWEN walks into the room, and everyone starts freaking out because we had just watched 10 minutes into Inside Man (and was groaning when Spike said to stop playing the DVD and the lights came back on)

I'm not much of a fangirl but if there was a Hollywood actor that I would ever imagine working with, it would be him. I mean, I'm sure most people have seen Children of Men (freaking genius) and Closer (... sigh. HOT) and for someone who doesn't EVER ask questions in class, I made up some silly questions just so I could talk to him... lame ass, I know, but I really didn't care.

Then in camera class I got to play around with the RED and that was cool.. and then I came home to a nice fat check from my insurance company as compensation for the broken LCD screen monitor of my 15' MacBookPro...

One of those rare, sweeeeeet days :)

SHOUTOUT TO EIDA!! SORRY WEIH.. AKU BUSY.. bukan sengaja nak lupa kat hang... selamat hari rayaa!!!! MWAHMWAH I WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU SOON K?? XOXO

Le sigh.

Ugh, blogger makes my pictures look really bad!
I'm so tired of being stressed out about random school (bureaucracy).
I should have been writing my script since I got back, but I spent 2 hours making dinner and watching 90210, and another 3 hours at Matt's listening to random music and talking shit about people.

OK time to sleep.

Hrrrrrmmms..

I don't know, things like these - make me really angry sometimes. That's a whole load of money to blow off on a really silly film with a bunch of non-trained actors, takat muka boleh pakai, AF has-beens... I don't mind horror films but I absolutely loathe ones that insult the intelligence of average movie-goers.

I had the most amazing awesome commercial class this morning, and an even more amazing directing the actor class with this former Oscar winning actress later in the afternoon. She was such a beautiful, beautiful woman before this happened. But she was still charismatically amazing, nevertheless!!!

Random post kucing!

It's end of Sunday.. already?!?! YE KE?!?!

Here is my super big room in my really nice apartment in Bushwick, Brooklyn. My roommate's home so I can't go out and take pictures of the living room, kitchen and her really adorable fat cat, Monk. Maybe next week when I have the time I'll go around and take pictures of the lovely Puerto Rican (I believe, but I could honestly be wrong) neighborhood I live in.

Anyway, what happened to my weekend?!!?
Shaitz.

First week of my last year in school, pretty boring generic random stuff. I had my first day at work here too, last Friday. I thought I could come in and just chill but I had to like, make an inventory and run errands, and erm, stuff. Well I guess I can't sit on my ass and expect to be paid now (not anymore)

MMMM OTHER THAN THAAAAT, this is my favourite hands down for now, I'm not really crazy about KJ or his antics but dia ni macam boleh jadik pelakon lah. Lawak ok.




OMG RAYA IS NEXT WEEK.
Oh I'm also watching Talentime in spurts now. It's not as interesting as I thought it would be. Although, I can't help but feel really, really sad watching it, it reminds me of how Yasmin isn't here anymore. Al-Fatihah!

Note to self: Malaysian Alcatraz - Pulau Jerejak

PS/OK soalan perasan sekarang -- I think I know those who read what I write, tapi korang yang lain ni dari mane... I'm curious. Tapi kalau tak nak bagitau takpe. Tak kisah. Gedik nak tau je.

Another rejection.. really?

Was the last film I made really THAT bad.. ?

:(

summer is over...

Crap, I don't get it.
I don't know you, I don't want to know you, but I see you in my dreams ALL THE TIME. I know I'm not supposed to be superstitious or take anything as signs but this is getting too creepy, even for me. STOP STOP APPEARING IN MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

summer update #15

Well, summer will be officially over for me tomorrow.
Hey ho! I got two new jobs at school. Hoping that I will max the 20 hour work limit. So I can save some dough to make a moooovie. Or, buy an apartment. Or, pay my DEBT. Or, splurge on a MARC JACOBS BAG.

On the other hand I didn't write crap for my thesis film.. which is due tomorrow!! HAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!@$#$@#$@#!!@#!@#!@#!@$%$^%^&%^


OK over and OUT.

SO ANNOYEEEEEEEEEED

Ergh ergh I need to rant I'm soooo hating school right now.... hate hate hate hate hate hate hate... memang diorang racist tak suka orang Malaysia! Tak suka internationals.. ERGHHHHHH benci benci racist sial nak mampus benci benci benci benci benci benci benciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I AM SO DONE WITH YOU FUCKING NYU!

summer update #14

So far it's been a really blessed Ramadhan week!
Been buka-puasa-ing with friends, free food galore over Friday and Saturday - all I have to say is alhammmmdullilllaaaaaahhh.

Other than that I'm up rewriting Ep7. Hari tu termimpi jumpa Budi. Haaaaaih. It's almost taking over my life... and I have to submit my thesis script this Friday...

I'm thinking whether I should buy tickets to Kings of Convenience. And Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Mmmm. Thinking.

rest in peace, my baby.

Bye sweetheart. You kept me warm through winter nights, and kept me company during bouts of loneliness.

It kills me knowing how you passed on - it kills me knowing that the only way to stop your suffering was to put you to sleep. It kills me knowing that I'll no longer be able to breathe in your beautiful coat of blue-grey fur, lovingly bite your soft pink paws, and play fetch with crumpled balls of paper with you...

Psyang, I love you, and will always miss you.

:(

:(

summer update #13

Absolutely craving for this.

:(

summer update #12

I guess it really helps, when you seem to be on a permanent (emotional) roller coaster ride, to be with someone who doesn't hold grudges, is forgiving and understanding about your need to act like a total loony bin sometimes.

What a way to start the day! A google conversation with a filmmaker who's actually made it!
Ah, he seems to have a plushy life. So there must be hope!

Note to self: STOP VEGETATING!

summer update #11

I'm riding the subway lines and aaaaaargh I can't snap out of this weird... daze I'm in.
Like crap, I'm really back in stinking New York!!!

I don't know whether to be happy or joyous or sad or whatever.

The 21 + hour flight was treacherous as expected, food was awful, my cab driver totally ripped me off, but I got to walk into the uber cool white tunnel in the Mode office set (of Ugly Betty). I'm back in Bushwick thanks to my dearest Chloe who left keys to her apartment, and let me vegetate in her cosy room with A/C while she's away in Beijing..

Anyhoo, I think I found myself an apartment! It's really really nice. It's in Bushwick still, but I've got MY OWN FREAKIN ROOM WITH A DOOR, so I'm happy!!! So last Friday was the first time meeting my future roommate Amy after all that corresponding through facebook - she is ultra cool, super selamba and unlike any other Mat Sallehs I've met. And better still, she has a tv which she'll bring and told me I could use whenever. But best of all - she has the WII!!!

I watched two amazing films over the week.. well ok 3 if you count the one on free streaming. I'll write more later.
Oh, so I've also got a new job! So I wrote two episodes for this show (and almost died in the process.. here I am trying to pack to leave to New York and staying up the night trying to finish the re-writes.. ) thinking that they would never ask me to write again (the last revisions I sent in, honest to GOD I wrote while in a semi-comatose state... couldn't even make out what rubbish I was typing out on my dad's tiny netbook in the dark) but weirdly enough I'm being asked to write more. Well I guess my film is taking a backseat for now... and I'll just get all gelabah when I have a table reading in.. less than 12 weeks from now (ok that doesn't sound so bad.. if I can dish out 40 pages in a week, how hard could 8 pages be?!! ERGH. I'm just trying to make myself feel better here... after all the procrastination over the summer)

Blah blah blah melalut betul. I'm really starting to sound self-indulgent here.
I hate goodbyes! I hated frantically looking for you from below, knowing it's the last time you'd be there right in front of my eyes until I get to see you again --- but weirdly enough you suddenly said you can't wait for me to be back so we can jump on the bandwagon and be part of that elusive/exclusive club.. :P

OK OK bai.

summer update #10

LIFE REALLY SUCKS!
I KNEW ONE THING OR THE OTHER WOULD SCREW ME OVER!


guess I'm staying at the airport for the week...... :(

summer update #9

I've had a rather splendid week.

Thank you, God.

summer update #8

See, bila depressed, mula lah idea mencurah2. Time time tak betul pulak tu.

Ade ke Adem call me INA NAIM!?!!!!

"You ni mcm forward thinking woman.. tapi bila hal boyfriend, terus jadi 'Bang, Ina mintak maaf bang, Ina tak buat lagi, Ina janji bang! Ina nak abang balik... Ina buat ape je abang nak Ina buat.."

SIOT!







PS/ Ni baru je spec script show dah nak menggelabah tak tentu pasal. ERGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

summer update #7

Mengadap MacBook Pro, sipping Caramel Macchiato Starbucks 13 ringgit, listening to Yuna, overlooking Jambatan Pulau Pinang, pakai baju kotak, outline series bertaburan atas meja..

Prententious..
Yang.
AMAT.

Nak layan emo...
:(

summer update #6

I would never imagine that-

My source of comfort, love and happiness

could turn into
a selfish, cold blooded, god-forsaken sorry life of a being

who finds joy in hurting me in so many ways that I cannot count.


:(

yesterday I thought to myself -how would it feel like to fly?











down from a ninth floor apartment.

summer update #5

Kucing Kuantan, Snowwie.

Eh silap ni Psyanngggg (huwa i misschuuu bebe)
Here!!! Cute kan? Too bad the boyfriend tak bagi bawak balik from Kuantan. Boohoo :(


OK updates next time ok. 4 more weeks before returning to the city... SO FASTT OK.
Haih.

summer update #4

Dear Nadiah Ham... (nama kene protect ni, nanti kuar kat google search lak.. hehe)

On behalf of the LA Shorts Fest, we would like to thank you for submitting Sub Rosa for consideration to the 2009 Festival. We recognize the hard work and dedication in making a film, but we regret to inform you that your film was not selected for this year's Festival....

Blah blah blah. OK la whatever. Anyhoo I've been home for three weeks and a half now. I've met so many people and attended too many weddings already. Now it's time for some serious work (writing) But first let me mourn about how I wasn't selected to be in the commercial class.. out of 10 people they picked 8 and out of the 8 was not even me... I dono. Maybe they have something against whiny little Malaysians. WHATEVS. If tak dapat jugak I think I will do an indie study or take leave to work on someone's film. That film will have Clive Owen. Ha. Amek kau.

OK time post crite kuceng.

Psyang, I miss you so much. Nobody greets me whenever I get home... nobody nak mengekor ke sini ke sane anymore. Nobody is here to sit on my keyboard and tekan the volume button to the max while I am asleep. Nobody is here to temankan me while I try to do work. Nobody is here for me to play fetch with. Nobody is here to sibuk2 nak makan jugak while I eat. Nobody is here for me to give their paws for me to bite. Nobody is here to merengek suruh bukakkan pintu.

I misshhhyou yayang. I hope you are loved and taken care of well..

*SOBS*

In a way I cannot wait to be done with school. I spent the afternoon at the Curve with AhBenjies today and he's been making lots of $. Saving up to start up a business. I am so inspired!!! But I still have a year of school. In a way, I am also sad that New York is coming to an end (unless I plan to stay on longer) I'm also sad that my nearest/dearest have left the city for good. Who am I going to call whenever I have my silly phoner fights with my man? New York is a cold, hard place (as my friend Matthew puts it) and it helps to have people who speak in your language...BUT NOWWWWW...

Entahlah. People change and I really, really have to learn not to depend on anyone but myself.

Sigh. But the past two days I have learnt that I should not see my future (awaiting) job as a hindrance to what I really want to do. And I am excited at the prospects of coming home and starting something on my own.. I think.

Hari tu terserempak dengan idola. Tapi kenapa mesti buat loyar buruk bile berhadapan dengan orang tu? Cam la aku ni bagus sangat.. SIGGGH.
Actually nak letak gambar kucing kiut dari Kuantan (nama dia Snowwie) tapi blogger is fudgen up with me, so later la.

...

I miss you.

:(

summer update #3

When things like these happen, you get shocked. Even if you have no absolutely no connection to the victim.

Just numb, even for a split second.
And think about how short life can really be.
So there should be no question about believing in a Creator - a greater presence that controls the unthinkable.

Because when you're put in an undesired situation - such as the one above, there isn't anything else that you can possibly hold on to - except for faith.

summer update #2

Beauty shots of a buglike dancer

Lighting from the rooftop.. and then freezing my ass off.

The shot that took forever.. but which was super awesome!

Really cool director/dp, handsome Iranian men in skinny jeans and a really friendly stranger-ful crew - not too bad for 16 hours worth of free labour.. (well ok I was given 20 bucks :P)

summer update #1

Gaffing/AC-ing my first NYC music video shoot tomorrow. A Tehranian-US based band, stop motion and steadycam stuff -
PLEASE LET IT BE FUN!!!

ERGHHHHHHH

I've been rather unproductive for the past two weeks (ok sorry I didn't get that AC-ing job.. this is what you get when you want to get paid sangat, orang pun dowan to hire me! bleh!)

Now will someone please take care of the shit in this apartment for me? So penat la every FREAKING YEAR I HAVE TO MOVEEEE. I hate feeling like a nomad. Hopefully this next (yet to be found) apartment will be a bit permanent. Permanent tu macam maybe more than a year la then I have to go home already...

I hate my crocodile tears. I went to embarass myself in front of my chair when we talked about my fast track to graduating. So I'm not going to make any films next year, I'm going to concentrate on finishing my thesis script and DP-ing stuff (hopefully, if people ask me to) Other than that he says I'm getting a really GOOOD scholarship from the school and I'll know by this Wednesday. I think for sure it's not the graduate assistantship (free ride and $1700 a month) .. but whatever. All that really matters is that I will have money to come back here and finish another year of school. Whatever.

I've been trying to ganti puasa, but I really should have done it during winter when the days were shorter. Now it's like fasting for 16 hours.. I might as well finish my last six days back home. OK.

Random.

Hah. Baru ada orang nak complain. So true. My worst experience ever. I mean I'm Melayu jugak but there would be a session where we'd break into smaller groups (Latihan Dalam Kumpulan) and then be made to debate over things like:

1) Katakanlah anda diminta untuk menganjurkan latihan/workshop (whatever lah, I'm paraphrasing) pengurusan masa untuk kakitangan pejabat kerajaan anda. Adakah anda akan memilih:
A. Syarikat motivasi bawah naungan parti pemimpin, walaupun syarikat itu masih baru dan tidak pernah mengendalikan sessi latihan sedemikian
B. Syarikat motivasi bawah naungan parti pembangkang, yang lebih berpengalaman dalam mengendalikan sessi latihan pengurusan masa

It was really weird. I was totally weirded out.

Babe I know we fight a lot and I always say that I'll leave you but deep down I know I never WILL.. TWELVE MORE DAYS I CAN'T WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT.

ok over and out.

Mood: content

I am grateful.
Today I got new Nike shoes from Spike!!!

Doesn't matter that they are lime green and orange...
They were FREE! From an Oscar nominated film director!


Happy :)

:O

JAW DROP.
JAW DROPPPPPPPPPP.
(SORRY APESAL BLOGGER NI TAKDE FONT LAGI BESAAAAAAAR)

omg HI YASMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(ergh i'm such a dork/fangirl i embarrass myself!!!!!!)

Mood: sedih

So... I'll be screening my film this Sunday.. really can't be bothered to tweak my edit or whatever... everyone thinks that I'm free now since my film is over, but I still have like 100001 homework to be done... and classes to attend... and have to think about moving out etc...

Anyway, everyone in my class will have their family/friends who'll come support them at the screening... I don't know if anyone will turn up kat sini... so sedih. Now teringat pulak dulu last summer when I had those screenings kat Annexe.. then the one kat Urbanscapes... then the one kat Help... korang semua dah tengok berjuta2 kali pun sanggup datang kasi sapot gak kan... sanggup go through traffic KL yg cam haram, sanggup datang lepas penat keje satu hari...

HWAAAAAAAASAYANGKORANGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
*sob*sob*

One more thing.. sorry tapi takbleh blahhh la orang yang suka ckp pasal diri sendiri nonstop. sabar je tau. Bukan nak mengumpat or whatever tapi cam omg you're so full of yourself. Seriously. I'm not trying to come across as holier than thou ke whatevs but then cam omg you don't even bother asking how I've been, what I've been through, what I think, etc... you just wanna blah blah blah blah blah cerita about yourself... I can only tahan to a certain extent. Lepas tu sorry beb.. I mean.. I wanna be happy for you, I WAS happy for you, tapi lepas tu I just wanna strangle you because you just won't stop...
talking about yourself.

Another thing is... nape Yasmin Ahmad don't wanna add me back on facebook... I've asked her twice tau. I sent her long emails of adoration and have told her how much of an inspiration she is to me.... tapi she don't wanna facebook fren me!!!!!!!! LEPASTU.. so tension pasal si anak Yusof Haslam buat filem "BOHSIA - JANGAN PILIH JALAN HITAM" like wtf that is the stupidest title ever... I'm sure it's an entertaining film etc... tapi lagi2 kita perlu disogokkan dengan adegan (cewah cam tulis karangan SPM BM plak) merogol/kelab malam/rempits dalam filem Melayu.. I mean, just like my classmates here with nudity/love making scenes. I mean, if it's really necessary, then yes. But if it's out of whim and meant to provoke for a totally irrelevant reason, then just make a porn film for goodness' sakes..

OK emo tak tentu pasal mesti pasal lapar.. k thx bai

Reel 2009

| Malaysia/New York



PLEASE HIRE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Weird/happy/random day.

So I had a meeting with Spike earlier today. OK, so he told me how my film wasn't super clear, how I need to reedit some scenes, how the music was overbearing, etc... but what was funny was how today my sneakers decided to bust on me... and he noticed and I think he's going to get me a pair of Nike kicks... he asked for my shoe size THREE times...even after I left he came back to the library coz I was working and asked again... it was hilarious. He is really kinda chill and funny and laidback - it was totally cool.

Now let's just hope I get them... my classmates will just DIE of envy.
HOHOHOHO.

OK but he did say he doesn't think I'm ready to direct a feature... I wasn't pissed or anything, or took anything to heart, now it's got me rethinking and reevaluating next year's plans.

Definitely does not involve an engagement, or rings of any sort :P

Random update #3

When will I ever learn that tak semestinya if kite buat baik, orang tu akan buat baik balik... So, sebagai contoh, if I am bending on my knees cleaning up, tak semestinya orang akan cakap "thank you.."

:(
FML..

PS/Hai kengkawan semua saya sampai m'sia june 3rd okeh :) MWAHWMWAHRINDUUUU!

Random update #2

So last Sunday night I was an hour late for a sit-down dinner party in the East Village. Good, fancy food of fish and potatoes, some take-out pizza for latecomers, expensive chocolate and homemade chocolate mousse later. After many conversations of school and the looming summer, my Norwegian host passed around 'Miracle Frooties'... I had absolutely no idea what I was in for, but it was mindfcuk at best... I was flavor tripping and it was AMAZING!%#@%@#%!!!!!! #!#!#!!#! Lemon and lime tasted like super sweet oranges.. balsamic vinegar tasted like syrup.. I can't even begin to describe it...

Well anyways I can't wait for these -





I soooooo want to make a children's fantasy film one day.. with an EITS film score!!!!
OK that's all.

Random update #1

Two films I watched last week at work.

woot!

Whitney totally rocks, because she always stands up for herself and doesn't take crap from Jay.
LC was always such a pathetic "I don't know who to trust!!" wimp.

And maybe it is good that I don't have enough money to go anywhere next week. At least I'll be forced to actually finish editing that damn thing.

mmm.

I've been super depressed, of late.
I am no longer working to buy myself nice things, but working to pay my bills.
I have been starving at school too.
Because a meal would cost too much.

I paid for a return flight ticket.
I will be back for the summer!
Hence the broken bank.

The weather is nice. And I think I've cried enough for the day.
I am going to a dinner party with some friends from school.

Such a pathetic, pathetic post.
But whatevs.