I hate Apple because they are going to charge me $310 which I don't have to replace my dead optical drive.
I hate the post-production centre at school because they only have ONE SOLITARY DVCPRO deck which I haven't been able to get access to after almost a week of waiting.
I hate the rising, awkward tension because thou shall not pretend not to hear when I speaketh to you, simply because it is childish and I'm 25 and trying to be civil and you are annoying the hell out of me.
I hate it that money is so tight right now and my scholarship is getting cut off by May.
I hate it that I need so much more right now to buy myself a ticket home and get out of this sticky scholarship government money situation and attend my best friend's wedding and wait for my boyfriend at the finishing line of his most important race of the year over the summer.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE LIFE RIGHT NOW.
Of course, things could be worse.
Thank goodness for Steven Soderbergh in two hours from now. He better be good. And inspiring.
BLEH BLEH!
PS/The picture above is a still from my film!! Which footage I have yet to see thanks to my stupid school with such limited facilities.. GRR!
It's been 5 months of blood, sweat and tears.
5 days of freezing my ass in the snow, having brain farts, and falling in love with my actor only to be convinced by my ENTIRE crew that he's actually gay.
Now, back to life.
I'm so ready to shooot this motherfudger...
New Year's this year to me was like, whatever. It was too cold to go out, and I honestly couldn't be bothered. I was just super unfazed.
I've been breathing, sleeping, eating my film! Up to a point that all the worrying caused a 'stomach virus' to form... I couldn't eat or do anything for three days. And did you know waiting to see a doctor in emergency, in a hospital, in AMEDIKA takes five frigging hours? And they call Malaysia a third world country?? Bodoh gile tak?? Well anyway, that was not a pleasant experience, being sick with a sore stomach and a throbbing, non-stop headache, and having endless nightmares of my production day in day out... last night I slept and dreamt I went home, met my friends in Penang and KL... and had so much fun... I woke up... and the headache was gone... I WAS SO HAPPY!!!
Things are finally coming together, but knock on wood should I be saying this too soon... And before this I thought my classmates were totally exaggerrating when they said they obsessed about their films... I can't stop thinking about it, I schedule things in my head all the time... it's crazy... and I thought I'd be cool/chill/laidback about it... but look at me... up at 7.30am trying to figure out what else I could be doing... I so can't wait for this is to be over...
Another thing is... apsal dua2 orang yg fresh of the boat tu suka buat bagus? Suka ingat bagus. Dah la baru sampai New York jangan perasan bagus can or not... eee so geram. Meluat ok. You still reek of the sea... bluek... pastu too cool for school pulak... cis... I'm over the whole American party scene... what's the fun in talking to people who can no longer contain a decent conversation when they've started slurring and making really inappropriate jokes... but whatevs... orang baru nak merasa, what to do... to each of his own...
OK I'm off... so sedih I didn't get to go to Abang's grand wedding... grand seh... ok I'm totally rambling nonsensical I better stop here...
to be ruthless and less nice to people.
daripada kena buli kena pijak kepala.
fcking hate flaky americans.
I hate Apple because they are going to charge me $310 which I don't have to replace my dead optical drive.
