Love.

Shouldn't make you sad...
or feel bad, depressed, or angry...
or repressed, or dejected,
or doubtful whether such an emotional investment,

is even worth your god-forsaken life.

I am...

Super tired, super lethargic. But I figured that if I keep my mind constantly working (and thinking, and mulling over things) I can actually fight sleep in class. I didn't sleep in Gail's Aesthetics class today.. FOR ONCE!! That's like major achievement. Major.

I won't be fasting til raya! So sad! (sad because kene ganti 12 days) :(
I am obsessed with caramel coated popcorn.
I've had too much mexican food to last me at least, until the next year (what is up with my classmates and Chipotle?!!!)

Anyway, today was an extremely long day. Tomorrow pun will be a long day.
But si Abang Minimalis' post today made me a bit kembang (ye saye perasan :P)

I miss my boyfriend lots ok bai.

Nah logo my production company olok2 :

hating..

bedbugs!

For five weeks I've been insanely suffering from bed bug bites. My skin is so fugly right now I can't even bear to look at myself anymore.
Today, the war ends.

No absolute reason to get upset.

Although truthfully and honestly
I can't bear slobbishness.

TSK.

:(

Sedih sangat.
1) Tak reti tahan nangis
2) Tak reti cover line bile tension (especially during telephone conversations with orang-orang bengong e.g so-called insurance-terhebat-but-is-actually-a-mofo-business-scheme)
3) Don't know how to end this war with bugs
4) Don't know why I'm always fighting sleep when I've more than had enough hours of sleep

Happy sangat
1) Dapat minum almond black bubble milk tea from St Alps saiz jumbo untuk buka puasa (at 10pm)
2) Dapat guna meja Ummi (hi Ummi!!) untuk buat kerja so kerja jalan cepat sikit
3) Psyang rajin temankan tido lately

Bumped into Cameron Diaz on my way to the L train on 1st ave... so pretty! so tall! (jakun)

I'm tired of life in general.. cepatla Raya...

edit//
my dp reel.. cut.. finally.. lame ass but whatever...

Everyone, say hello to...

Psyang (pronounced SAYANG)

Kittens are such great, welcoming distractions.
Psyang makes me very happy... although I do feel like I'm betraying Gondry in a way. But he's so far away and last time I mollycoddled him, he made that loud motorboat noise (meaning he's annoyed) and Psyang never does that whenever I smother her with kisses... except meow in her tiny voice when it gets too much. French cats are so much more well behaved than Norwegian forest ones!!!

OK enough cat stories.
I haven't been writing because I've been tired.I don't exactly know why, because I have been getting more than enough sleep than usual. Maybe it's the changing weather... warm and sunny one day... rainy and chilly the next... I forgot how much I hate the unpredicatable New York weather... sigh...
or maybe because everything's started in full gear at school... there's just too many things to do and so little time... :( I don't really have problems with it being fasting month and everything, I just wish everyone would just sit back and chill for a second, ya know? Sheesh...

James Franco enrolled in the first year... and he's really dripping with hotness in person... it's really funny how everyone's been trying really hard to keep their cool around and in front of him, and then drool and brag about how many times they managed to talk to him... other than there hasn't been much to look forward to. For the past three weeks I've been in a constant war with bed bugs, which is super dumb because my bed still reeks faint smells of Ikea.. (which means its BRAND SPANKING NEW) Sigh...

I miss home... I miss being able to just wake up and have absolutely nothing to do... But what I don't miss is the feeling of being under constant pressure... to settle down and move into that next phase of life... I mean under these circumstances, it's just not possible... besides, he's not willing to drop everything and move here with me, and I don't want to get into it without being able to commit and be domestically (?) responsible towards his needs... of course it makes me a wee bit sad when I see other people my age being able to enjoy marital bliss, but good for them... I won't lie and say I'm not envious, but it's not my time just yet... so like, whatever... it's not like it's the key to absolute happiness in life...

I didn't get my library job back... which is sad, but I got a new job as a projectionist, which is intimidating but cool in a way.. anyone remembers Salvatore in Cinema Paradiso? (which we watched for Media Philosophy class in MMU dulu... ) its 35mm so it's good training... I work less hours and get less pay, but I guess I always wanted extra cash on the side to buy new clothes and presents for people, so it's not really a big deal. I've also been watching a lot of movies lately... when I have the time I guess I'll write about them...

OK I'm digressing.. it's like 1am in the morning and I have a script to rewrite and a pathetic reflection report to complete... I hate my new acting teacher... he makes everything so philosophical and theoritical, which I think is BS. Why can't he just cut to the chase and be more practical? I feel like the class is so rigid, and takes away the organic process of learning how to direct actors...

Well enough rambling... I guess I'll be pulling an all nighter... and tomorrow's going to be another long day.