Of cold winters and grey slush.

Being sick is not the least bit fun.
At this moment all I want is to be right next to my loves back home.
:(

disappointment.

What's the immaterial substance
that envelopes two,
that one perceives as hunger
and the other as food.
I wake in tangled covers,
to a sash of snow,
you dream in a cartoon garden,
I could never know.
Innocent imitation,
of how it could be,
if when the music ended,
you did not retreat.
In my imagination,
you are cast in gold,
your image a compensation for me to hold.
Parallel lines, move so fast,
toward the same point,
infinity is as near as it is far.
Parallel lines, move so fast,
toward the same point,
infinity is as near as it is far.
Parallel Lines - Kings of Convenience

I am weary of placing trust and hope in anyone anymore.

Horrorwitz.

I hardly speak in class because so many people have a lot more thoughts than I do, and can carefully phrase them out in more proper, understandable and efficient formats, rather than my clunky, weirdly juxtaposed structured sentences.
I would rather sit back and listen. And I happen to enjoy just sitting back, listening.

But today was an exception.
"You are the new jesus'es' in filmmaking.."
"You control how the society behaves..."

"Hollywood is 4, 5 years ahead of everyone else.." warbled the precocious Horrorwitz lady.
"For instance in the supernatural genre..."

So I got really mad and said, "Well, can you explain how is it that Hollywood is 4 or 5 years ahead when every single horror film out at this moment are bastardizations of Asian films?"

I didn't get a decent answer.

Nor did I bother paying anymore attention after that, as I engaged myself in a heated debate (in my head) whether it would be a greasy but very yummy plain cheese slice from Mercato or Javaworks' transfat-free, healthy chicken-avocado sandwich for lunch.

Procrastinating Project 1.

My baby Gondry, 11+ months. I miss him like you can't imagine :(

Rajin Tetibe.

My second pair of $29.95 Payless boots gave away again yesterday night. Memang tension, because now I have to walk around in my Chuck Taylors yang rabak and berlubang.

Sedih, okkay.

Anyway yesterday night was hilarious, Indian food/lemon-mint shisha/green tea in Queens and perjumpaan Persatuan Budak2 Malaysia -- it's really good to tear myself away from school/classmates sometimes, and not be around ignorant Americans (Malaysia? Maaalaaysia. Eee bongok!) and be around all things familiar.

I made an interesting relevation of a particular blog I have been (almost) religiously reading of late, I think I actually managed to figure who the person is. Amazingly enough, reading his writings and observations through his secret online identity has completely changed my perception of him in real life. In a good way, of course.

I've just realized I will never be able to write happy/clappy scripts or stories. I sat down with my writing teacher last week and he told me, "I watched your last film, and you have this thing, ah.. for all things dark and gothic?" after reading my 7-minute adaptation script about a sculptor who does something really really bad to her college sweetheart (who ended up marrying someone else and leaves her in mighty depression, leading to a tragic ending) Even I don't understand my obsession with all things sordid and macabre.

Bising gile orang tengok Superbowl malam ni. Another American obsession I don't (and won't) comprehend.

happiness!

Secretly, I have been hoping that my film would be picked in one of the 10 from the New York class to be shown to Tisch Asia in Singapore (just to show that Malaysians can kick some serious ass). They got my name spelled wrongly in the programme, but who cares!

(all of this, after getting an amazing belated birthday package with a handmade birthday card from the bestest boyfriend in the world, back home)

*BIG STUPID GRIN*