falling apart, once again.

I found this while I was killing time this afternoon.

No, I didn't stay long to talk to Amir Muhammad, after the screening. Adem left earlier anyway, so it would have been awkward. Nevertheless, amidst the angry tears just an hour before it went on (because I was being a total brat about my boyfriend being late, and unable to tear himself from work to come fetch me from home) it was a great feeling, watching 'Tengah hari/Sepetang Bersama Awek Bertudung' (as Amir Muhammad dubs it, I don't recall exactly) play in Help Institute after I'd given up after sending tape, after tape, after tape there. 3 years was definitely worth the wait.

Now here I am, by myself trying to pick up pieces again. Why do I fall and break so easily when he leaves me at the door? I guess it's just that I've fallen into that comfortable spot again, knowing he is there within reach and is a physical, tangible presence rather than an offbeat, muffled voice at the other end of the line.

I wish I could be stronger with a faster recovery period.

Ugh, just shoot me for this overload of cheesiness.