Mood: content

I am grateful.
Today I got new Nike shoes from Spike!!!

Doesn't matter that they are lime green and orange...
They were FREE! From an Oscar nominated film director!


Happy :)

:O

JAW DROP.
JAW DROPPPPPPPPPP.
(SORRY APESAL BLOGGER NI TAKDE FONT LAGI BESAAAAAAAR)

omg HI YASMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(ergh i'm such a dork/fangirl i embarrass myself!!!!!!)

Mood: sedih

So... I'll be screening my film this Sunday.. really can't be bothered to tweak my edit or whatever... everyone thinks that I'm free now since my film is over, but I still have like 100001 homework to be done... and classes to attend... and have to think about moving out etc...

Anyway, everyone in my class will have their family/friends who'll come support them at the screening... I don't know if anyone will turn up kat sini... so sedih. Now teringat pulak dulu last summer when I had those screenings kat Annexe.. then the one kat Urbanscapes... then the one kat Help... korang semua dah tengok berjuta2 kali pun sanggup datang kasi sapot gak kan... sanggup go through traffic KL yg cam haram, sanggup datang lepas penat keje satu hari...

HWAAAAAAAASAYANGKORANGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
*sob*sob*

One more thing.. sorry tapi takbleh blahhh la orang yang suka ckp pasal diri sendiri nonstop. sabar je tau. Bukan nak mengumpat or whatever tapi cam omg you're so full of yourself. Seriously. I'm not trying to come across as holier than thou ke whatevs but then cam omg you don't even bother asking how I've been, what I've been through, what I think, etc... you just wanna blah blah blah blah blah cerita about yourself... I can only tahan to a certain extent. Lepas tu sorry beb.. I mean.. I wanna be happy for you, I WAS happy for you, tapi lepas tu I just wanna strangle you because you just won't stop...
talking about yourself.

Another thing is... nape Yasmin Ahmad don't wanna add me back on facebook... I've asked her twice tau. I sent her long emails of adoration and have told her how much of an inspiration she is to me.... tapi she don't wanna facebook fren me!!!!!!!! LEPASTU.. so tension pasal si anak Yusof Haslam buat filem "BOHSIA - JANGAN PILIH JALAN HITAM" like wtf that is the stupidest title ever... I'm sure it's an entertaining film etc... tapi lagi2 kita perlu disogokkan dengan adegan (cewah cam tulis karangan SPM BM plak) merogol/kelab malam/rempits dalam filem Melayu.. I mean, just like my classmates here with nudity/love making scenes. I mean, if it's really necessary, then yes. But if it's out of whim and meant to provoke for a totally irrelevant reason, then just make a porn film for goodness' sakes..

OK emo tak tentu pasal mesti pasal lapar.. k thx bai

Reel 2009

| Malaysia/New York



PLEASE HIRE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Weird/happy/random day.

So I had a meeting with Spike earlier today. OK, so he told me how my film wasn't super clear, how I need to reedit some scenes, how the music was overbearing, etc... but what was funny was how today my sneakers decided to bust on me... and he noticed and I think he's going to get me a pair of Nike kicks... he asked for my shoe size THREE times...even after I left he came back to the library coz I was working and asked again... it was hilarious. He is really kinda chill and funny and laidback - it was totally cool.

Now let's just hope I get them... my classmates will just DIE of envy.
HOHOHOHO.

OK but he did say he doesn't think I'm ready to direct a feature... I wasn't pissed or anything, or took anything to heart, now it's got me rethinking and reevaluating next year's plans.

Definitely does not involve an engagement, or rings of any sort :P

Random update #3

When will I ever learn that tak semestinya if kite buat baik, orang tu akan buat baik balik... So, sebagai contoh, if I am bending on my knees cleaning up, tak semestinya orang akan cakap "thank you.."

:(
FML..

PS/Hai kengkawan semua saya sampai m'sia june 3rd okeh :) MWAHWMWAHRINDUUUU!

Random update #2

So last Sunday night I was an hour late for a sit-down dinner party in the East Village. Good, fancy food of fish and potatoes, some take-out pizza for latecomers, expensive chocolate and homemade chocolate mousse later. After many conversations of school and the looming summer, my Norwegian host passed around 'Miracle Frooties'... I had absolutely no idea what I was in for, but it was mindfcuk at best... I was flavor tripping and it was AMAZING!%#@%@#%!!!!!! #!#!#!!#! Lemon and lime tasted like super sweet oranges.. balsamic vinegar tasted like syrup.. I can't even begin to describe it...

Well anyways I can't wait for these -





I soooooo want to make a children's fantasy film one day.. with an EITS film score!!!!
OK that's all.

Random update #1

Two films I watched last week at work.

woot!

Whitney totally rocks, because she always stands up for herself and doesn't take crap from Jay.
LC was always such a pathetic "I don't know who to trust!!" wimp.

And maybe it is good that I don't have enough money to go anywhere next week. At least I'll be forced to actually finish editing that damn thing.

mmm.

I've been super depressed, of late.
I am no longer working to buy myself nice things, but working to pay my bills.
I have been starving at school too.
Because a meal would cost too much.

I paid for a return flight ticket.
I will be back for the summer!
Hence the broken bank.

The weather is nice. And I think I've cried enough for the day.
I am going to a dinner party with some friends from school.

Such a pathetic, pathetic post.
But whatevs.

I don't know you..

But I already hate you.

ARH.

I got an idea for my feature script already!!!!
Now I just want to skip the writing/shooting part, and be done with it, and graduate in 2011!!!

Facebook is evil.

It makes me think that everyone else has a life more fabulous than mine.
HATE IT!


PS/3 posts in a day, I know. I'm really high-strung like that.

I want I want I want

We never seem to tire of the things we want.

Well maybe when we die.

Ma,
Don't worry. I won't jump off a building (thought of it once though),
won't start doing drugs (though there was some at the party I was at last weekend)
or turn into a drunkard (not ever)

I'll just be working like a 'mad dog' (or so people tell me)

More hatred.

I hate the way you're not connected, even after almost two years of waiting.
I hate the way you don't call when I expect you to.
I hate the way you never talk about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
I hate the way you make me feel idiotic and silly for rambling nonsensical about rings, flowers, islands in our kitchen, floor to ceiling bookshelves in our living room, and what color I would wear on our day.
But what I hate the most
is myself
for even hating all these petty unreasonable things.

IT'S MAKING ME SO MAD!!!!!!!#@!#!@#!!
*le sigh*

Hatred.

I hate Apple because they are going to charge me $310 which I don't have to replace my dead optical drive.
I hate the post-production centre at school because they only have ONE SOLITARY DVCPRO deck which I haven't been able to get access to after almost a week of waiting.
I hate the rising, awkward tension because thou shall not pretend not to hear when I speaketh to you, simply because it is childish and I'm 25 and trying to be civil and you are annoying the hell out of me.
I hate it that money is so tight right now and my scholarship is getting cut off by May.
I hate it that I need so much more right now to buy myself a ticket home and get out of this sticky scholarship government money situation and attend my best friend's wedding and wait for my boyfriend at the finishing line of his most important race of the year over the summer.

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE LIFE RIGHT NOW.
Of course, things could be worse.

Thank goodness for Steven Soderbergh in two hours from now. He better be good. And inspiring.

BLEH BLEH!
PS/The picture above is a still from my film!! Which footage I have yet to see thanks to my stupid school with such limited facilities.. GRR!

Done and done!!!

It's been 5 months of blood, sweat and tears.
5 days of freezing my ass in the snow, having brain farts, and falling in love with my actor only to be convinced by my ENTIRE crew that he's actually gay.

Now, back to life.

aarrrh..

I'm so ready to shooot this motherfudger...

So uh..

New Year's this year to me was like, whatever. It was too cold to go out, and I honestly couldn't be bothered. I was just super unfazed.

I've been breathing, sleeping, eating my film! Up to a point that all the worrying caused a 'stomach virus' to form... I couldn't eat or do anything for three days. And did you know waiting to see a doctor in emergency, in a hospital, in AMEDIKA takes five frigging hours? And they call Malaysia a third world country?? Bodoh gile tak?? Well anyway, that was not a pleasant experience, being sick with a sore stomach and a throbbing, non-stop headache, and having endless nightmares of my production day in day out... last night I slept and dreamt I went home, met my friends in Penang and KL... and had so much fun... I woke up... and the headache was gone... I WAS SO HAPPY!!!

Things are finally coming together, but knock on wood should I be saying this too soon... And before this I thought my classmates were totally exaggerrating when they said they obsessed about their films... I can't stop thinking about it, I schedule things in my head all the time... it's crazy... and I thought I'd be cool/chill/laidback about it... but look at me... up at 7.30am trying to figure out what else I could be doing... I so can't wait for this is to be over...

Another thing is... apsal dua2 orang yg fresh of the boat tu suka buat bagus? Suka ingat bagus. Dah la baru sampai New York jangan perasan bagus can or not... eee so geram. Meluat ok. You still reek of the sea... bluek... pastu too cool for school pulak... cis... I'm over the whole American party scene... what's the fun in talking to people who can no longer contain a decent conversation when they've started slurring and making really inappropriate jokes... but whatevs... orang baru nak merasa, what to do... to each of his own...

OK I'm off... so sedih I didn't get to go to Abang's grand wedding... grand seh... ok I'm totally rambling nonsensical I better stop here...

2009 resolution.

to be ruthless and less nice to people.
daripada kena buli kena pijak kepala.

fcking hate flaky americans.