Apesal...

Mat Salleh semua cam haram bangang ego tak suka share knowledge?
Penat and menyampah ok.

So macam, it's sort of like a big deal la in my class if you're chosen to DP (Director of Photography/Cinematographer) a film because most of the people who get into the grad film programme want to become writer/directors, so not everyone wants to shoot, but the look and production value of the film is important, hence choosing the right DP is essential...

So, memandangkan I like to berangan and be over ambitious tak kene tempat, I sort of made it known that I wanted to major in the cinematography track... so my resolution for this academic year was to shoot at least one second year film, if nobody asked I would shoot my own... thankfully two of my closest Mat Salleh friends asked... (tak tau la kenape pun) Well pendekkan cerite I already shot one, and that was an experience by itself... but I had an amazingly patient and talented gaffer (the person who decides where the lights, what kind of lights to use... all the technical stuff is kind of complicated and you really have to know your shit if you want to become a DP/gaffer.. hhaha so like, I'm totally kidding myself because I have very weak technical skills) but TOMORROW's shoot my gaffer is my DP.. (meaning that I chose him to shoot my film in January nanti) apparently I don't think he's used to work as anything underneath DP/Director.. I've tried being really nice and stuff, even to a point of saying, "Hey, I just want to be clear on this, you know a lot more than I do, do you think you could help me out by suggesting which lights we should use to get so-so effect?" and he'll go, "I can't call the shots, you're the DP!" Eeee so geram ok. Stop being an a-hole can or not. Padahal I'm asking as a friend/fellow classmate, and we're in a creative, learning, collaborative (betul ke gune this word) environment, takkan tak boleh nak impart some of your union-learned knowledge? (yeah he's in the union --- now that's a different story for another day) Padahal when I was working as a set intern on that Uma Thurman movie pun everyone was so nice about teaching me things when I asked nicely... and they were all union members too.

So sedih. Because other than that he's a really nice person. Tapi it makes me sad he does this - bukannya mintak benda bukan-bukan pun, mintak tolong ajar/guide sikit je, something which is totally HIS job anyway.

Aaa cam nak nangis je (cam baby gile sikit-sikit nak nangis)
Dahla last week on another shoot this non-NYU person asked me, after cutting in my conversation with a fellow NYU-ite about what we were crewing on as on other people's shoots, "Excuse me, but, are you even qualified to shoot?" I got depressed the entire day.

okla gotta sleep early calltime tomorrow.
:(