le sigh.

My Green Eyes, he is, and I love him now even more so.




I am getting more and more disappointed with people around me. I hate having too many expectations, because when they fall short, I get extremely disappointed to a point where I get aggravated, annoyed, and hurt beyond words :(

I don't understand how people can be so selfish at times. Or maybe it's just me and my childishness in wanting to believe that every gesture of sincerity or kindness will be favours returned. Unfortunately for me, that's hardly ever the case.

I set up the lights, operated the camera, had to use the lav mic, did everything on my own. And that's so super difficult when I'm trying to direct an actor to get a genuine performance simultaneously. Extremely difficult, because everything comes into play - you suddenly have to be aware of everything else and get distracted from the main task at hand (which is why i want to become a cinematographer so much more than a director!!!)

I already don't like my new crew. I don't.
And editing my exercise, hmm. Ed's boyfriend Jared is just dripping with hotness. Like, extreme hotness.

Mind you, that's my classmate Edward's boyfriend.
Le sigh.