Self-consciousness.

This is where I spend 14 hours of my life, in a week, at. It's a digital library stocked with every title of mandatory-film-school-
must-watch movies (and guilty pleasures such as six full seasons of SATC, The Office, CSI and every other tv series you can think of) Kinda like working in Kim's video store down at St. Marks... (minus the hipsters, and the steep deposit/membership fee) I really like my job.

OK, random cerita for the day.
I cannot help but feel very self-conscious right now - thanks to the comment Anonymous made to my previous post (regarding the remake of Shutter) Err... hi, and because it's almost 1.30 am I can't seem to muster a clever and clear rebuttal for my take on Hollywood Horror Bastardizations - I'll have to write about that later. Or maybe after I get the chance to watch it. Hopefully. But indefinitely.

Anyway. All classes have halted to make way for our production period, which has gone into full swing with the completion of Steve's film last Tuesday (in which I was director of photography) It went smoothly, but because his story is loaded with dialogue driven characters, it wasn't as interesting to shoot... unfortunately. I guess I shouldn't be complaining since nobody else asked me to shoot their films :( But I wish I had the chance to shoot something more visually interesting - well I guess I could have done that with his film, but I just wasn't connecting to the story (a wife suspects her Middle Eastern-religion-
denouncing-husband's cousin is a terrorist... now how could I have possibly been visually excited about that?) *BIG SIGH*

My roomate's classmate just passed away this morning, I really didn't know how to deal with her, and her friend coming over and bawling, so I just idly went on doing my daily random routines. News and the very mention of death will never cease to stun and shock and humble and frighten me - in many, many ways.

Why is it that the very idea of dying is extremely and completely terrifying?
I pray that when it comes to my time to die (w'allahu'allam when, and where) I want to be happy and content, knowing that I've done some good (and maybe, some justice too) in this world (this world which is like a tiny, tangible spectrum in an endless, unmeasurable universe)


*(beat)

My eyelids are wavering. Tomorrow is going to be a long day, as I'll be helping the crew transferring equipment from Queens to Jersey, and pre-lighting for Kiel's shoot (I'm gaffer a.k.a Head Electrician) And on a lighter, less morbid note - Friday we turn one year, and because he's such a great big liar ("there isn't a need for cards.. or presents") I got caught off guard with a package containing a back issue of KLue, a card filled with hearts and carefully written words, and an 8G flashdisk filled with more than a hundred snapshots of Gondry the Big Fat Kitty. Indulgent as I might sound, he is just super. Super electric.

Now, sleep.

* (beat) a screen writing jargon I believe, which means the character waits for a moment, or pauses for a thought - creating a dramatic moment (either an emotional transition/moment of decision or realization), also allowing audience to understand the scene and take in what's actually happening.